Table of Contents
- What Love Is, Really
- The Foundation Of Every Healthy Relationship
- Dating & The Early Stages Of Love
- Keeping Love Alive In Long Term Relationships
- Common Roadblocks In Relationships
- Understanding Emotional Intelligence
- Setting Healthy Boundaries With Others
- Learning Your Love Language
- Breaking Up: How To Heal After Heartbreak
- Building A Healthy Relationship With Yourself
- Red Flags: Deal Breakers In Relationships
- Green Flags: Important Signs To Look For
- Real Talk About Love
Love isn’t always easy. But it can be wonderful.
Whether it’s comforting or wild, fulfilling or devastating—love is powerful.
And whether you want to improve your current relationship, start a healthy romance, or simply learn how to heal after heartbreak, knowing how to handle love is important.
In this article, we tackle the honest truths about love and relationships. What they’re really like, how they work, how to improve them, and how to avoid making certain mistakes.
What Love Is, Really
Most of us grow up thinking that love is this magical feeling.
While that can be love—it’s not the whole picture.
Real, lasting love is:
- Commitment
- Stability
- Understanding
- Support
- Communication
It’s choosing each other—even when things get hard.
The Foundation Of Every Healthy Relationship
Although each relationship is unique, almost every healthy relationship is built on the same things.
Communication
Communication is important in every relationship. But what does healthy communication look like?
Healthy Communication
- Talking openly and honestly
- Sharing thoughts and feelings without becoming defensive
- Asking questions to understand your partner
- Coming to solutions, rather than making accusations
Most arguments aren’t caused by big deal problems. Rather, they’re caused by small things that were never talked about.
Trust
Trust is another important factor in a healthy relationship. Unfortunately, once trust is broken, it can be hard to rebuild it again.
How to build trust:
- You have to be reliable
- You must follow through with what you say
- You should never lie to your partner
Respect
Respect is when you care about your partner and their feelings, but you don’t try to control them.
Healthy respect includes:
- Listening to your partner
- Accepting them for who they are
- Encouraging their goals and dreams
- Communicating without name-calling or yelling
Dating & The Early Stages Of Love
We fall in love because of chemicals in the brain that attach us to another person. When we first start dating someone, we also tend to put our best foot forward.
But what happens when we let our guards down?
Take Your Time
If you jump into a relationship quickly and expect your partner to know everything about you after a few weeks, you’re setting yourselves up for failure.
Get to know their values and character. Watch how they act when they think no one is looking.
Look For Compatibility
While it’s fun to start a relationship with someone who you’re physically attracted to, you need to look deeper than that.
Good questions to ask yourself are:
- Do we have the same values and morals?
- How do we handle conflict?
- Can we respect each other when we disagree?
These things matter more than feeling butterflies.
Keeping Love Alive In Long Term Relationships
After being with someone for a long time, things are not going to be as fiery as they once were. But that doesn’t mean your love is dwindling—it just means it’s changing.
Keep Making The Effort
Life gets busy. Between work and taking care of other responsibilities it can be hard to stay connected to your partner.
Make time for each other:
- Go on dates
- Talk about more than just the weather
- Show appreciation for your partner
Small gestures can have big impacts.
Learn How To Fight Fair
Arguing with your partner is inevitable, but that doesn’t mean you need to hurt each other’s feelings.
Arguments should never include:
- Name-calling
- Yelling
- Bringing up past mistakes
- The silent treatment
Grow Together
You should allow your partner to grow as an individual, but you should also grow together as a couple.
Do things as a team:
- Keep hobbies that you enjoy together
- Make goals you want to achieve as a couple
- Build your life with one another
Common Roadblocks In Relationships
No relationship is perfect. Every couple faces issues that can harm their connection.
The trick is knowing what these common roadblocks are so you can know how to fix them.
Poor Communication
When couples don’t talk, misunderstandings happen. Once things are left unsaid they can escalate into bigger arguments.
If you and your partner are struggling to talk, be patient with them and yourself. Communication can be a two way street and it will take effort from both parties to get back on track.
Trust Issues
Whether trust was broken in the past or your partner is just naturally suspicious, trust can be difficult to build in a relationship.
Building trust can take:
- Transparency
- Time
- Consistency
Both partners will have to be patient with each other.
You Feel Emotionally Checked Out
Maybe you had a bad day, they said something that hurt your feelings, or you’re simply just stressed from work. Whatever the case may be, if you feel yourself withdrawing from your partner emotionally, try to remember why you fell in love with them.
Try:
- Spending quality time together
- Talking and sharing how you feel
- Giving them hugs and touches
Different Expectations
People go into relationships expecting their partner to meet all their needs. But in reality, your partner isn’t your parent, your best friend, and your lover all at the same time.
They are your partner.
Understanding Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence refers to a person’s ability to understand emotions. In relationships, it allows you to understand your own emotions as well as your partners.
Some traits of emotional intelligence include:
Self-awareness
Being able to recognize your emotions and triggers. Which can help you communicate your feelings more clearly and make better decisions when you’re upset.
Empathy
Recognizing your partner’s feelings allows you to be compassionate when they’re feeling down. If your partner is angry or upset, ask them why and try to see things from their point of view.
Self control
Your emotions can cause you to say hurtful things to your partner in the heat of the moment. Using self control can help you react, instead of respond.
Setting Healthy Boundaries With Others
Boundaries are limitations we put on others that determine what we will and will not accept from them.
Setting boundaries in a relationship is important because:
- It will protect your emotional well being
- It will prevent resentment
- It encourages mutual respect
Healthy boundaries include:
- Personal boundaries (your space, privacy, etc)
- You deserve to have time to yourself
- You will not tolerate poor behavior
Learning Your Love Language
The 5 love languages are:
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Quality time
- Physical touch
- Gifts
Just as you have a way that you prefer to receive love, your partner does too. Learning each others love languages can improve your relationship and help you avoid misunderstanding.
Breaking Up: How To Heal After Heartbreak
Breakups suck.
There’s no way to mend a broken heart other than time.
Allow Yourself To Feel
While it may seem easier in the moment to shut your feelings off, bottling them up will only make it harder for you to heal.
Give Yourself Time
Like mentioned before, all relationships teach you something. Think about what you can learn from this relationship.
- What went well?
- What didn’t go well?
- What do you need in a partner?
By asking yourself these questions, you can reflect on what you need to grow from this toxic relationship.
Do Not Jump Into Another Relationship
Healing from a past relationship should always be your main priority. Avoid getting into another relationship too quickly.
Building A Healthy Relationship With Yourself
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
If you want to be in a healthy relationship with someone else, you must first build that same relationship with yourself.
Practice Self Awareness
Learn your triggers, your emotional patterns, and your needs. Self awareness will not only help you communicate your feelings but help you make better decisions when you’re feeling vulnerable.
Build Up Self Respect
You cannot respect someone else if you don’t respect yourself.
If you love yourself you will:
- Know your worth
- Set boundaries
- Not tolerate disrespect
Learn Emotional Independence
Your partner should enhance your life, not be the reason you’re happy.
Make sure you:
- Have hobbies you enjoy
- Maintain friendships
- Have goals you’re working towards
Red Flags: Deal Breakers In Relationships
If you encounter these things in a relationship,take heed.
They may be red flags that you should either give time to work or leave immediately.
- Lack of respect
- Trying to control you
- Gaslighting
- They’re easily insecure
- They’re not accountable for their actions
Green Flags: Important Signs To Look For
Just as you should know the red flags, knowing these green flags can help you recognize a healthy relationship when you see one.
- They respect you
- They trust you
- They support you
- You share the same values
- They want to grow with you
Real Talk About Love
Love is hard, and it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.
You and your partner will:
- Fight
- Have bad days
- Go through hardships
But you’ll also:
- Laugh
- Feel comforted
- Build a life together
Final Thoughts
Love is something you grow. There is no perfect relationship because every person is different.
The only things you should bring to a relationship are honesty, effort, and the willingness to grow.
If you and your partner can do that, you’ll have a relationship that you can both enjoy.
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